Whip It Good
by La Vita a Colori
Summary: Naruto woke Sasuke at 4 in the morning to show him WHAT! Crack. Pure, and unadulterated crack! Review and fist pumps are fun. Written simply for hits'n'giggles, yo!


**Author's Note**: Hey guys! This was originally posted in concurrence with a random doodle I'd done, for reasons still unknown. Be warned that this is CRACK. Pure and unadulterated CRACK. I do not own Naruto nor Sasuke nor DEVO, and I also know that the DEVO hats are usually blue or red, but wouldn't an orange one be just as awesome? ...I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, enjoy the randomness.

Only being posted because I'm taking WAY too long with updates.

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**Whip It Good**

_'Who the fuck is that...?_' Sasuke wondered to himself as the doorbell was repeatedly rung until he let out a strenuous sigh and wandered down the stairs to answer it, only to be filled with a face full of whiskers and tan and sunshine.

_'Ah, the Dobe. I should have known...'_

"TEME! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!" He was flailing his hands wildly and gesturing towards the sky. It took Sasuke a drowsy minute as his eyes wandered upwards and then back down the length of Naruto's body, not understanding until his senses were alerted to the monstrosity sitting atop the others boy's head.

He felt the corner of his eye twitch.

"What... the fuck is that." It was a wonder to anyone how Sasuke could turn any question into a statement.

"**Oh, ehm, geee**! Sasuke-teme! You wouldn't believe it, but BELIEVE IT! I ran all the way over here because the package came really early in the morning and I couldn't wait until training this afternoon with you and me and Kakashi-sensei and Sakura and you and me... But, wait, what was I saying...-"

"Naruto."

"-OH YEAH! I ran all the way over here because I know you would appreciate the _genius_ of this, seeing as how you're a genius and all, even though you can be a bastard sometimes-"

"Dobe."

"-But really, I was browsing the internet 'cause it's just so awesome and I saw this novelty store selling these hats, and they're just so cool and awesome and omg, omg, omg, it's ORANGE! (insert girlish squeal here)-"

Sasuke, too tired to speak, flipped Naruto the bird.

"And.." Seeing the hand signal Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What the fuck is that for, Teme? I thought you'd like my DEVO hat!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, the bags under his eyes more pronounced with each of the blond's utterances. "It is four in the morning, moron."

Naruto just stared. "O...kay."

The twitch returned. "I need sleep, even if all you live on is ramen and sunshine and butterflies and whatever the fuck other kind of gay novelty items you may have." He shivered at the thought. "And it is four in the morning."

Naruto looked back, stunned. "But... But, the _DEVO_ hat..." the shorter boy muttered forlornly.

Sasuke tried to hold back a sigh. He eyed the way the blond stood shivering with no shoes, out of breath, and that ridiculously bright hat sitting prettily atop his head. He almost felt sorry for how silly the brat looked. Instead, a smirk began to stretch itself leisurely across his face and he crossed his arms as an idea popped into his head.

"So, what was your purpose for showing me your..." He waved his hands, looking for the right sentiment. "...'DEVO' hat?"

Naruto blinked. "Eh...?"

The blond's eyes widened slightly and he took a step back as Sasuke took to stepping forward.

"Are you trying to tell me to 'Whip it'?" He questioned with a slight tilt of his head and a pale hand managed to swerve around and take a firm grip on Naruto's upper arm as his other hand made a quest around to the blond's backside, inwardly causing him to rejoice at the yelp he received. Leaning in to the other boy's ear, he whispered, "Whip it good...?"

Naruto let out something utterly feminine and would continue to deny it till the day he died as Sasuke threw him over his shoulder and carried him back inside the house.

Two hours later, after thoroughly 'whipping it good', Sasuke laid contentedly in bed with an armful of dobe and as Naruto whined in the midst of sleep about something to do with "No! They be stealin' my bucket!", he silently decided that maybe the DEVO hat wasn't half bad.

Not that he'd tell _ever_ Naruto that.

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**A/N:** Don't you just want to review this monstrosity? Also, find me on DevArt! I feed off of human interaction. *bleeds rainbows*


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